From Jack: My Last Earthly Memory - Taking Those Darned Pills!

There seems to be a lot of guilt over the issues of pain pills and end-of-life treatments. People feel guilty if they didn't give them. People feel guilty if they did.  People just feel guilty, it seems to me, no matter what they do or did. 

Every four hours she waited to give me my pain pills. I fought with her every time. She would cry as she forced them into my mouth. In our whole life together she had never forced me to do anything I didn’t want to do.

 

I just didn’t want those pills! I was in pain, yes, but she didn’t know how awful those pills were for me! She kept trying to hide them in things – like cheese or bacon or yogurt or peanut butter. She thought I might not know they were in there. I didn’t even want to eat my favorite things at that point … and I sure didn’t want to eat those pills!

 

The last one she gave me was wrapped in a peanut butter cube. I remember how she watched the clock until 10 p.m. when she could give me the next dose. I took it. At 1 a.m. I sat up and looked right into her eyes. I was very weak and going back and forth in consciousness. It was the first time I had sat up in many hours. She was spellbound, looking back at me, looking deeply into my eyes. 

 

"What Jack. What is it?  Do you need something?" she asked me. I surprised her by spitting the entire peanut butter pill cube out on the floor between us. She knew then that I was serious about not wanting those pills! I lay my head back down and I crossed the Rainbow Bridge two hours later, clear thinking and unaffected by pills in my system.

 

I watched her after my spirit left my body. It was amazing to me how she cleaned up the place! She washed all the dishes, the blankets, the floor. She had a little bowl where she had mixed the pills into some yogurt. I watched her take the tip of her finger as she took a teeny tiny taste of the mixture. She recoiled. “Blech!” It was the most disgusting thing she had ever tasted. God knows...I had tried to tell her.

 

I will be letting this memory go as soon as I finish this message to you. Like all dogs, cats and other animals, we leave such memories far behind. We are not like humans who torment themselves by dwelling on things long after the moment is gone. How is it that people can feel guilty about so many things? They deprive themselves of the sweetness of memories by embittering themselves with the guilt over a few painful moments.

To humans it seems, it all is Black and White. You are guilty or you're not. But YOU'RE NOT! You're not guilty.

You Are Not Guilty - of Anything

I'm unhappy to see your Stoic grief.

After all, 

You can only heal what you can feel.

When you don't express, it stays trapped inside

With no way out. 

It turns into anger; it turns into guilt.

Do you love me? 

For if you do, if you really do, 

YOU ARE NOT GUILTY of ANYTHING.

Love and guilt simply cannot coexist. 

Let your love rule and overcome the guilt that you think you have.

Don’t be afraid to feel,

 For only what you feel can you heal.

Don’t be afraid to cry for not all tears are evil.

I wait for your smile but I want you to cry;

Setting grief free brings you closer to me.

Don't you see? Don't you see?

Set it free. Set me free. 

Set us free.

     Love, Jack 🐾

(Rainbow Bridge representative)

Jack 

Do You Love Me Enough to do This?

(reprinted with permission from Kate's Blog ...because it applies to all kinds of love) 

Letting Go doesn't mean you don't love them anymore. Letting Go doesn't mean you won't miss them anymore. You can never cut the ties that bind two souls together who truly love each other. What you DO need to cut is the Leash of Grief and Guilt that binds them to you and prevents them from doing what is best for them.

As They say, set something free and if it was yours to begin with, it will come back. It's natural law, in Heaven and on Earth and in all the spaces in between life and death and life. Your loved ones cannot come back from a place they have not yet arrived. 

If you are looking for Signs and not finding them, take a look at what you are doing. If your best friend is still on the leash of your grief, your best friend is not yet free to be everything he or she can be. 

Letting Go is the most important thing you can do for both of you. It is the ultimate act of faith... and you will be rewarded for it. 

Breathe. Then Let Go. It's time.

You say you love. Do you love them enough to let them go? 

Do you trust them enough to have the faith that they will never leave?  

"'Do not cling to me,' said Jesus, 'for I have not yet ascended to the Father.'"

John 20:17

(Jesus to Mary Magdalene) 

Unleash Me Let Me Go. It's Part of Our Healing. Yours & Mine.

Q: Dear Jack. You talk about letting them go. Not binding them to you with the grief. How do you know when you have cut the leash so that they can run free and have fun? 

A: When you are no longer clinging to them.

Q: How do you know when you are no longer clinging to them?

A: You are no longer clinging to them when you no longer have pain over them. When you no longer allow yourself to suffer. When you have peace and you can smile when you think of them. When you have accepted that they are now living in another dimension, but living nonetheless. You can still miss them, you can still have tender tears, but it's the pain and suffering about it that must be severed from your being. The pain and the suffering weave together to create the leash that binds. 

Did God Take Him Away to Punish Me?

Dear Jack,
If it wasn't for my dog I would surely be dead or in prison. He had this little look he would give me like he was saying, You Know You Shouldn't Do That, then he would come up and lick my face like he still loved me. He really turned my life around. He was a God send. I thought at first God took him to punish me for things I've done but a Preacher told me God loves all the things we do and wasn't like that. 
Could that be true? 
Pete

Dear Pete,
Oh my friend it's true. God was not punishing you at all. You cannot lose God and you cannot lose your dog either. They both live in a Place Beyond Time. Try to keep your beautiful dog in the present tense, because Love Never Dies. It's hard to realize amidst your grief and your loss that your dog still is very much alive in spirit and soul. He is not in your past. He is your Now. He is your Forever.  He is your Always. 

It was the voice in your own head that you projected into your dog's head that said, “You Know You Shouldn’t Do That.” Your dog never ever stood in judgment or blame, not for a moment. God was simply giving you a glimpse of Him and His Love through your dog's awareness, forgiveness and acceptance of All That You Are. All. That. You are. You are loved. You are accepted. You are forgiven. This is what we come to teach you and this is why God sends us.  We are His gifts to you so that you can know how much you are Loved. 

I love you too.
Jack

Did He Know I Loved Him?

Dear Jack, 

It's 4am and I cant sleep. I really want to know what my boy went through at the end, not that it will help or maybe it would. I just want to hear that he didn't suffer too much. 

I Love You and I Know You Love Me Too

Dear One,

The fact that you were there with him offsets any suffering your boy may have had. Being surrounded by love always alleviates pain and suffering. When we love, our endorphins kick in. Endorphins are the natural antidepressants that are created in the natural pharmacy in our bodies. When we are loved, we are more immune to feeling the effects of discomfort. Some of us choose to die alone. Some of choose to be at the side of the one who loved us. Just like people, animals are all different and they have the ability to make some choices such as this. 

His suffering was short-lived compared to the life he lived and loved with you....and all of that life is but a blink of an eye when compared to the eternal life he is living now. It was just a tiny moment in time. You'll see when you are together again with him. You'll see how it all works and you will look back and say how foolish you were to worry so. But worry, it's the human condition. It cannot be helped. Worry is your teacher. 

Did he know you loved him?  The answer to this is the non-prescription drug that brings peace to everyone. Ahhhh, to know they were loved! We all need to know we are loved and we need to believe that those we love the most know that they are loved in return. Love is the drug. Love is the key. Love is the answer. Love is the question. Love is the secret. Love is everything. While you continue to suffer, he has moved beyond suffering. He is not suffering now. When we enter Rainbow Bridge ---and ultimately Heaven--- any of the "bad" memories leave us. The physical scars and feelings heal instantaneously and if he hurts, it's only because you are still unhappy. 

The best thing you can do, now that you know he knows you love him, is to love yourself. Love yourself so much that there is no room for guilt and second-guessing.  

LOVE,

Jack

The Jack McAfghan Trilogy is available on Amazon Worldwide in Print and on Kindle. Click here for more information! Our story is your story too. 💖

Anger Is Part of Grief

Who has been the source of your anger? 

Yourself? 

Do you blame yourself? 

The vet? 

The people around you who seem not to care? 

God? 

Anger is a part of the grief process and it can be very scary, especially if you were never allowed or encouraged to express anger. 

Feel it. Heal it. Let it go. 

My book will show you how. 

http://amzn.to/2ipa4zE

The Guilt of Grief

What's typically the first thing you say to yourself when someone you love has died?  "I wasn't there."  "I should've called more often." "I should have loved them more." "I wish we'd ended on a more positive note."  

And when it comes to your four-legged friends? "I wish we'd taken more walks." "I should have fed her healthier food." "I waited too long to take him to the vet."  "I took him to the vet too soon." "I could've done more. I didn't do enough."  It's the human condition to go through this torment in one's mind. 

Some humans try to control so many circumstances in their lives. They think they are responsible for holding their world together. Then they find out in difficult times, that they are not really in control of much of anything at all. It was all a facade and many go through high hoops and spend a lot of energy trying to prove to themselves that they can control everything. It is humbling and eventually it is free-ing for them to find out that they had no power over what happened. You do not have to hold the world together. God takes care of that. Your job is to try to control your mind and let the power of the love in your heart lead the way through the shadows and out the other side. 

Jack McAfghan: Return from Rainbow Bridge

Keep in mind that when you have no control over something, YOU CANNOT BLAME YOURSELF. There are some people who are so controlling that they leave decisions up to someone else so in the event it is the wrong decision they can maintain their "innocence" and blame the one who made the decision! You silly willy humans! It's all such a common and often unconscious game that only goes to keep you apart from each other. 

Guilt and Blame is a common thread for all who grieve and yet there is nothing you could've done or should've done. It was out of your hands. After all, you know what the outcome would have been if you had an ounce of say in the matter...In the Guilt of Grief, you are completely innocent. Higher Powers are at the helm of circumstance and destiny. They know what They are doing and why. There are reasons you cannot possibly know now, but you will someday. What you CAN control is how you respond to what happens to you. It's one more thing we come to teach you. The fact is that You loved and your love is always enough.  

"You can't turn back the clock. You cannot change the circumstances. You never could change them. They were set in Destiny, in the fate of the Rainbow Time Schedule. Even things that might seem to be accidents were pre-destined. You need to love yourself as much as your pet loves you...and forgive yourself for everything. You are not guilty of anything."  
from the book, Jack McAfghan: Reflections on Life with my Master by Kate McGahan

The One Thing That Keeps You Stuck in the Grief

Dear Jack: 

The hardest thing I'm dealing with right now is my guilt. I have lost people in my life, including my best human friend and my mother. Losing my Heart and Soul pet has hit me harder than anything and I miss him more than anyone ever and that is why I feel guilty. I've never admitted this to anyone other than a total stranger I happened to walk into at a doctors appt. who admitted the same thing after telling her about my best friend.

Sincerely,

Lost in Guilt

Dear Lost, 

You are no longer lost because the moment you realize what is holding you back, is the moment you can begin to move forward. It is part of the Acceptance process. 

During our years of working hospice we found that guilt is the #1 grief issue 90% of the time. Have you read my book yet because we address this in detail. That's one of the reasons we wrote my first book. Kate was riddled with guilt. She was stuck in the guilt of grief for six months or more. When you finally accept that guilt in unnecessary, you will emerge from the depths of the darkness, You find out that you are free and you realize that there is plenty of hope for healing and living a normal life again. A better than normal life for what we have taught you by our leaving. 

Guilt is all so unnecessary. Did you know that guilt doesn't even exist except in your own mind? But that might be too much for you to process right now. Please if you haven't already, get my book and let me comfort you on this topic. I will bring your best friend to you and release you both from the chains of guilt. In about 3-4 hours you can be in a totally different place. Please don't be afraid to go there. Your pet's world will open up when yours does. You are both connected and your grief impacts him. Now don't feel guilty about that too! It's a normal and human part of the process. 

Learn about it. Do it for you and do it for your best friend.

Our books are available on Amazon Worldwide. Click here to view my page on Amazon.com!

Love,

Jack

Fear is an Illusion that Cannot Exist When you Live in the Moment

via GIPHY

Excerpt from "Jack McAfghan: Reflections on Life with my Master" Chapter 31. 

She had a hard time accepting that we were very different from each other emotionally. While a dog has feelings to an extent, most of us don’t really worry about things like people do. We don’t fear anything emotional. We don’t fear the future. We live in the moment where there is no fear. We have nothing in the future to prepare for. We only experience fear when something physically threatens us or startles us. Once in a great while we can experience a form of fear when we pick up on the emotions of our loved ones and on some level we react to the fear that they feel.

It might seem like we have deep feelings because we look guilty or ashamed when we are caught getting into trouble. We don’t really feel guilty because deep down inside we know we are innocent. We live from love and we do the best that we can. When we seem guilty, we have just learned to give you the reaction we know you want from us. You want us to feel guilty? Okay, we can show you how guilty we are. As soon as we do, you stop yelling at us because you then believe that we understand our error (we usually don’t). You might then feel sorry for us because you “made” us feel guilty and then you cover us with your beautiful forgiveness. The game is totally worth it for us to get your love and your forgiveness.

Love, 

Jack

....But I Didn't Want Her to be Alone When She Died...

So many of you feel sad, bad, angry or guilty that you were not at your friend's side as they passed from this life to the Heaven at Rainbow Bridge.  There are many people who feel like they want or need to control certain circumstances in their lives; circumstances that are really beyond their control.  Then when their pet dies while they are at work or at play or asleep or in the next room, they blame themselves because they have the impression that they could have controlled the outcome If Only They Did This or If Only They Did That. There was NOTHING you could have done to change the outcome and it's not just about Fate or Destiny.  

Many people feel bad that they were not with their pet at the moment it passed, but this is often because the pet did not want its Beloved to witness the final moments which would be imprinted on the mind and take away from the joy of the memories shared. 

"Jack McAfghan" is available at Amazon.com Worldwide

Your pet knows what's going on. When we live a long life or if we are sick and have time to process, we have an element of control around the Where, the When and the How. Just like people do. It is not always the case when there is an accident or a sudden trauma. When something immediate and unexpected happens, it happens so fast that we end up at Rainbow Bridge and we hardly know what hit us. Some of us need to go through the learning and leave consciously.... and others hang suspended between the worlds.... sick or in pain for a long time. In this case we do not leave of our own accord because our earthly master has something to learn about Letting Go and about making important and compassionate decisions.

There are reasons for everything. It is all about learning.  It's about us learning and it's about you learning.  When we get to Heaven/Rainbow Bridge, we know everything there is to know. Every life we've ever lived. Everyone we've ever loved. There is much to know there, but there is not too much to learn there. That's why learn so many things when we are on earth with each other.  Life is the school, love is the lesson.  

Rainbow Bridge 

Heaven is the reward. 

Can a Pet Determine When It's Time to Cross the Bridge?

Dear Jack, 

I was told that animals are able to determine the way and time they will pass from this world into the next. Could this be true? 

Caroline

Dear Caroline,

Your pets know what's going on. They probably know even better than you do because they are very tuned in to Spirit, living in the moment and being hyper-alert to how they feel within themselves and the world around them.

When a pet lives a long life into older age or if a pet is sick and has time to process the illness and eventual outcome, no matter what the age, they have an element of control. They have control over the Where, the When and the How. Just like people do. It is not always the case when there is an accident or a sudden trauma. When trauma or sudden accident happens, there is a moment just prior to the impact when your pet leaves its body. So there is no pain at the end of life. Typically they never know what hit them and if they do, they have an "Aha" moment of realizing "This is it" and by the moment that thought finishes, they are already heading for Rainbow Bridge ....while the drama and human questions and suffering take place at the scene.  

Many people feel bad that they were not with their pet at the moment it passed, but this was because the pet did not want its Beloved to witness the final moments which would be imprinted on the memories of a chaotic mind and take away from the joy and pure love of the memories shared. In the case of narcotics and medication, pets are also a lot like people -- when they take a powerful medication, it reduces their awareness and their alertness. Like a person on morphine, they will simply slip into sleep and wake up at Rainbow Bridge. When they are medicated, the medicine often decides the when, the how and the where -- not the pet. We are not so different from people this way.  Also, like with people, there are exceptions.  If someone is in enough pain or discomfort, sometimes they would rather go to sleep. The comfort can be more important than the awareness in certain situations.  

If you read my book, you read about the process I went through when I became sick, when I declined, and when I crossed Rainbow Bridge. You read about how obedient I alway was, but at the end I did not want to take my medication. It wasn't just because it tasted awful (and it was awful!) but I did not want to be sedated. I wanted to be aware of my Beloved who was there by my side and I wanted to be fully present with her in my final hours and in my departure. Because I was present, I was able to write the book, with her good help, that explains all of this in detail. I was able to be fully present in my leaving her to cross the Bridge. Click here to see my book and read the reviews.  ("Jack McAfghan: Reflections on Life with my Master"- available on Amazon and most other booksellers worldwide).

There is also the question of Euthanasia. Why do people find themselves responsible for making the dreaded decision to help their pet to cross the Rainbow Bridge?  There is always a reason. Sometimes the person needs to learn how to make a decision.... or they have lessons to learn from making the decision and living with it.  Putting a pet to sleep can wreak havoc on a person's feelings of guilt, shame and self-blame.  Life on earth (for a human, not for a pet) has to do with learning the lessons needed to LET GO of the guilt and shame and blame of life. Guilt and Shame and Blame are things the human mind created to make themselves or others feel bad. Guilt and Shame and Blame are not real and they do not exist at Rainbow Bridge or in a mind that is full of only LOVE. They only exist in a mind that is filled with fear. Us animals don't understand this, but we accept that it is part of life for you and we do our best to teach you love and forgiveness in the time we have together with you.  

Growth from learning is always built into the act of making a difficult decision such as this. Life on earth is the School and True Love is the Lesson and everything you go through on earth is designed to teach you and bring you closer to being the fully loving person you are in your heart and in your soul. This means loving others, but loving yourself as well. Your mind is not always your friend. Your heart always knows the right answer. Your heart knows everything. This is why we animals know what we know. We pay more attention to our hearts than our heads. We always did. Fear lives in the human mind. Love lives in the human heart. Love is always more powerful than fear. We know this. This is why we live in the power of love. Love directs our course, not fear. Love is more powerful than anything else. Love is what lives on, long after we have crossed the Bridge. 

It takes time but if you ultimately learn to live in the moment, can be loving and forgiving of yourself -- the way we taught you to love unconditionally -- you will move forward, grow into a New You, a New Normal, and you will be stronger and more loving than ever.  This is what we are eagerly waiting for! We are watching and waiting -- and celebrating when we see that you have healed and have learned to live your life in love the way that we always did.

We are here at Rainbow Bridge. We love you and we are waiting for you to love yourself and embrace life again. You. You will determine the How and the When and the Where of your healing. You don't feel like you have control over it, but you do. Some day -- if you are fortunate to live to a ripe old age, you will see what I am talking about. You will see you have a part in the decision and an element of control in the dying process.  And when you decide it's your time to go, we'll be waiting for you here. After you've learned all the lessons you need to know to come here.  

Thank you for writing. I hope this helps.  

Love, 

Jack

A Message from Kate: The One Year Mark

My Dad passed within hours of Jack -- we will never know exactly when. I called him at 9 a.m. and at 11 a.m. and then I called the apartment manager to check on him. The police came to my door to let me know at 3 p.m. It was 12 hours between Jack's passing and the realization that my Dad was gone too.

You cannot separate grief. Grief is grief however you look at it. It does get complicated, however, when you think maybe you should have had a Facebook group named for your Dad instead of for your dog! But anyone who knows me says "Jack is the one who was always there for you, Kate. He was the one who loved you unconditionally - in a way that your human family cannot." Ultimately Jack was there for Dad too, on that first day away from this earth. Maybe my Dad finally learned the value of a dog. No doubt he needed Jack to help him find his way across the chasm -- perhaps even holding the curl of Jack's golden tail, as I had done so often in the dark, as they walked over the bridge together.

Sometimes it doesn't seem like it gets better with time. That's because when we first "lose" someone we love, we are in shock. Then time passes. The shock wears off and THEN we FEEL. OMG! What?! They say Time Heals but at first Time only seems to make us FEEL! It makes us FEEL BAD! But it's really just a crazy phase. It's a process. Once we get through that hurdle, there are some bumps in the road, but we do get better and better as we travel it.

Typical Stages - Not Everyone is the Same

Right about the time we begin to feel better, we bring the damper down upon it. Our joy is smothered by our perceived guilt and our self-blame. We do it to ourselves. Guilt is an illusion, created by man to have a weapon of control and emotional manipulation. It's the human condition. Guilt is an illusion. Guilt leads us to believe that someone else is ultimately responsible for our happiness. That is not true. It is not real. Yet we treat it like it has power over us. 

At Rainbow Bridge, all that matters is love. All that exists is love. Our pets, when they were here beside us on earth, all they knew was love. Love is what they came here to teach us; not guilt and shame. 

When you find the joy again or when something makes you smile, put your hands upon your heart and HOLD IT there! The heart is where the ones we have loved still live and they will help us to be happy again. By keeping ourselves happy, we keep them happy too. 

Keep the focus on the strength and power of the heart. 

Did God Take Him Away to Punish Me?

Dear Jack, 
If it wasn't for my dog I would surely be dead or in prison. He had this little look he would give me like he was saying You Know You Shouldn't Do That, then he would come up and lick my face like he still loved me. He really turned my life around. He was a God send. I thought at first God took him to punish me for things I done but the Preacher told me God loves all the things we do and wasn't like that.
Pete

Dear Pete, 
God was not punishing you at all. He was giving you a glimpse of Him through your dog's awareness, forgiveness, love and acceptance of All That You Are. You are. You are loved. You are accepted. You are forgiven. This is what they come to teach us and this is why God sends them. 
I love you too, 
Jack 

What's On Your Heart Today: The Battle Over the Mind

Dear Jack, 

Two months ago today my Teddy was taken. So many thoughts and so much anguish. I know it was already set in motion. I couldn't have done anything to stop it, but still doesn't keep me from thinking I might have jinxed things. 

Last year we were fostering a dog from a rescue and I really wanted to keep her, I went back/forth-told myself we didn't need 3 dogs. Did end up adopting her, and now Teddy is gone, so maybe I really wasn't supposed to have 3 dogs! I have used tanning beds in the past, but early this summer I read a story about a girl with cancer that was enough to make me stop tanning. Someone asked me about it and I said I didn't want to get cancer, so maybe OK not me, but then my dog gets it!?

I seem to be distancing myself from our other 2 dogs. I take care of them, it's not like I"m ignoring them, and I do snuggle on the couch and play with them but on some level I suppose I don't want to go through that heartbreak again by being so consumed by my love for the dog that it hurts this much. I love them of course, but not like I did Teddy. He was MY baby. And I suppose I resent them a little, that they are here and he is not. I know they are grieving for him too, so we all need to be in this together. I truly am usually a sensible person but all this is thinking from my heart and not my head. 

Love,
Olivia 



Dearest Olivia, 

THIS IS NOT COMING FROM YOUR HEART, THIS KIND OF CONFUSION COMES FROM YOUR HEAD. 'I know it was already set in motion,' you say. This is coming from your heart. 'It doesn't keep me from thinking (!) I might have jinxed things.'  This, as you reveal by your words, is coming from your head.

I am not being critical of you, but I must tell you that when things come from your heart they are always clear, loving, accepting of all present past and future. You heart is unconditionally supportive of YOU and any decisions you have made; actions you have taken. This is the spirit us dogs live in every day of our existence. Everything is okay when you live from the love in your heart. 

When I turned 8 years of age, Kate decided to get another dog as a companion for me...but also as a "back up plan" for someday when I crossed over the Rainbow.  Enter Joey.  I had been the only "child" since Grady crossed the Rainbow Bridge in 2009. Now it was 2013. Joey was needy and demanding and jealous. Kate was trying to balance the two of us and, while I was never very demanding, she believed that I was being pushed out. She felt like I felt like I wasn't the priority to her that I was before Joey came into our life. It actually made her resentful of Joey too, for "pushing me out". This, of course, was her MIND at work. She was projecting her feelings onto Joey and me when it was not the case at all.  

Joey and Me -- in that order

When it came time for me to leave,  Kate wondered if I left so that she could "have" Joey all to herself. She felt guilt and shame and blame, thinking that something she did caused me to want to leave her. My leaving her had nothing to do with any of that. Dogs aren't like people. We don't sit around remembering the so-called Good Old Days. We don't think thoughts like: "Gosh, I wish my life was different than the one I'm living." "I wish we didn't have this other dog in the family." "Why can't I be this, do that, go there, have that?" We take things in stride. We accept life and what it brings us at face value and we appreciate everything we have. We are what we are, we live with What Is and we love who we love. Everything is accepted and unconditional. We live in The Moment all the time. 

My Favorite Spot --
She Always Thought I Was Thinking About Stuff (because that's what she'd be doing if she were me)
but I was just watching and living fully in the moment. 

Please honor your remaining dogs by letting go of this guilt and shame and making room for the love and compassion in your heart that you have for them. The love is there, but your own feelings cloud your relationship with them right now. They may not be your Heart and Soul dogs, but they are yours and they love you and they need to know you still love them. We are very sensitive to the feelings of the ones we love and, like children, we need to be told what is going on and we need to know that you still love us...even though things are different now. 

It is natural to think about all these things, Olivia. You are only human. What if? How come? Maybe this and maybe that. The fact is, things happened the way they did and you cannot keep beating yourself up about what you might have done or could have done differently. You can only accept things as they are; you cannot turn back the clock. You cannot change the circumstances. You never could change them. They were set in destiny, in the fate of the Rainbow Time Schedule. Even things that might seem to be accidents were pre-destined. You need to love yourself as much as your pet loves you ...and forgive yourself for everything. You are not guilty of anything. 

Nothing Can Change My Love For You

We are not watching you from the Rainbow thinking: "Jeez, if only she hadn't done that!" We are only loving you, accepting you, wanting you to be at peace and free of the thoughts that torment you so that you can live and love again. We think from our hearts and not our heads, we always have, and we want you to do the same. 

Love,
Jack