There seems to be a lot of guilt over the issues of pain pills and end of life treatments. People feel guilty if they didn't give them. People feel guilty if they did. People just feel guilty, it seems to me, no matter what they do or did.
Every four hours she waited to give me my pain pills. I
fought with her every time. She would cry as she forced them into my mouth. In
our whole life together she had never had to force me to do anything I didn’t
want to do.
I just didn’t want those pills. I was in pain, yes, but she didn’t know how awful
those pills were for me! She kept trying to hide them in things – like cheese
or bacon or yogurt or peanut butter. She thought I might not know they were in there. I didn’t even want to eat my favorite things at that point … and I sure didn’t want to eat
those pills!
The last one she gave me
was wrapped in a peanut butter cube. I remember how she watched the clock
until 10 p.m. when she could give me the next dose. I took it. At 1 a.m. I sat up and
looked her right in the eyes. I was very weak and going back and forth in
consciousness. It was the first time I had sat up in many hours. She was spellbound,
looking back at me, looking deep into my eyes.
"What Jack. What is it? Do you need something?" she asked me. I surprised her by spitting the entire peanut butter pill cube out on the floor between us. She knew then that I was serious
about not wanting those pills! I lay my head back down and I crossed the
Rainbow Bridge two hours later, clear thinking and unaffected by pills in my
system.
I watched her after my
spirit left my body. It was fascinating how she cleaned up the place! She
washed all the dishes, the blankets, the floor. She had a little bowl where she
had mixed the pills into yogurt. I watched her take the tip of her finger as
she took a teeny tiny taste of the mixture. She recoiled. “Blech!” It was the
most disgusting thing she had ever tasted. God knows I had tried to tell her.
I will be letting this
memory go as soon as I finish this message to you. Like all dogs, cats and
other animals, we leave such memories far behind. We are not like humans who torment themselves by dwelling on things long after the moment is gone. How is it that people can feel
guilty about so many things? They deprive themselves of the sweetness of memories by
embittering themselves with the guilt over a few painful moments.
 |
| To you, it all is Black and White. You are guilty or you're not. YOU'RE NOT! You're not guilty!! |
Us animals, we only
remember the good things. It’s the only way to be happy. In fact, when we arrive at the Rainbow we are required to shed every memory that was anything but happy. We cannot carry that kind of baggage with us. We are supposed to stay free and lightweight so we can fly like the angels we now are. The old baggage weighs us down and we must be rid of it before we come
here.
From here we often observe the ones we love, and we can only hope and pray that they will
shed those memories too. They only harm and weigh heavily as they block the
love that connects us. As long as guilt and shame and sadness are in the way,
we cannot come together. We must be at the same level of peaceful vibration to
be able to access one another.
Please do what you can to
stop thinking of the sad things and focus on the many many many amazing memories that took place in our beautiful life together. If you can do this, when the
time comes, you will be able to cross over the Rainbow easily too. Please
try! In the meantime, I love you!
