Anger Is Part of Grief

Who has been the source of your anger? 

Yourself? 

Do you blame yourself? 

The vet? 

The people around you who seem not to care? 

God? 

Anger is a part of the grief process and it can be very scary, especially if you were never allowed or encouraged to express anger. 

Feel it. Heal it. Let it go. 

My book will show you how. 

http://amzn.to/2ipa4zE

Planning for the Inevitable: Learn to Communicate Ahead of Time

Hi Jack, 
It has been a long time and when it is too hard for my human brain to know, I must come back to you. My Balto is 12 years old. He still looks like a baby but he is having increasing issues with osteoarthitis. His Vet asked me if I wanted to try laser treatment to ease the pain. I wonder if this will work? I just want to be sure he will let me know ahead of time so I do not let him suffer...On the other hand I want Him to have a quiet life.  I don't know much about his life before he came to me. He was 9 years old when we met in a shelter. I really hope I will understand his signs when they come to me. Sometimes Veterinarians are only doing their job but in the same time I want to try everything to ease his pain. I am a little bit lost. Anyway I can at last feel his love now. I am sorry if this message is not clear. And as I told Kate I have your Book close to me...... ♡♡♡♡
Love, 
Balto's "Mom" 


Dear Mom, 
The energy of your message is very clear because you write from a place of love and I always understand love. Please say Hi to Balto for me. If you can get a product called Dasaquin, it helped me a lot. I was struggling a bit moving around too and once we went on that I was like a puppy again -- all the way till the end. I don't know if it will work for Balto but it worked for me. Start with that... and then the laser if it doesn't work. 

I am glad you keep my book close to you because that is where I can always remind you that everything is okay, even if it doesn't feel like it is at the moment.  

I must tell you that the most important thing you can do these days is to sit quietly with Balto. Put your hand on his heart and the other hand on yours. Tell him that you want to learn to communicate with each other through your hearts and that you may need his help with this. This is where he will communicate with you when he is "gone from your sight" one day.  Sit quietly with him, breathe with him, feel your hearts together. It will be good for both of you.

Whenever the world gets to be too much, with your hands on your hearts everything always seems better because it reminds you that your power is in your heart, not your head.

Love, 
Jack

My Poem About Squirrels

I think that I shall never see 

This squirrel come down from this tree. 

A squirrel whose tail goes east and west;

She teases me! She is a pest! 

She sits and looks at me all day, 

And waves her furry tail to say 

She'll never let me win this game. 

I must forfeit; she is to blame! 

The tree protects with limbed terrain. 

Her sheltered home, it's her domain. 

Only God can make a tree, 

Or a squirrel... or fools like me. 

~ by Jack McAfghan. 
Based on the poem "Trees" by Joyce Kilmer (1914)

The Guilt of Grief

What's typically the first thing you say to yourself when someone you love has died?  "I wasn't there."  "I should've called more often." "I should have loved them more." "I wish we'd ended on a more positive note."  

And when it comes to your four-legged friends? "I wish we'd taken more walks." "I should have fed her healthier food." "I waited too long to take him to the vet."  "I took him to the vet too soon." "I could've done more. I didn't do enough."  It's the human condition to go through this torment in one's mind. 

Some humans try to control so many circumstances in their lives. They think they are responsible for holding their world together. Then they find out in difficult times, that they are not really in control of much of anything at all. It was all a facade and many go through high hoops and spend a lot of energy trying to prove to themselves that they can control everything. It is humbling and eventually it is free-ing for them to find out that they had no power over what happened. You do not have to hold the world together. God takes care of that. Your job is to try to control your mind and let the power of the love in your heart lead the way through the shadows and out the other side. 

Jack McAfghan: Return from Rainbow Bridge

Keep in mind that when you have no control over something, YOU CANNOT BLAME YOURSELF. There are some people who are so controlling that they leave decisions up to someone else so in the event it is the wrong decision they can maintain their "innocence" and blame the one who made the decision! You silly willy humans! It's all such a common and often unconscious game that only goes to keep you apart from each other. 

Guilt and Blame is a common thread for all who grieve and yet there is nothing you could've done or should've done. It was out of your hands. After all, you know what the outcome would have been if you had an ounce of say in the matter...In the Guilt of Grief, you are completely innocent. Higher Powers are at the helm of circumstance and destiny. They know what They are doing and why. There are reasons you cannot possibly know now, but you will someday. What you CAN control is how you respond to what happens to you. It's one more thing we come to teach you. The fact is that You loved and your love is always enough.  

"You can't turn back the clock. You cannot change the circumstances. You never could change them. They were set in Destiny, in the fate of the Rainbow Time Schedule. Even things that might seem to be accidents were pre-destined. You need to love yourself as much as your pet loves you...and forgive yourself for everything. You are not guilty of anything."  
from the book, Jack McAfghan: Reflections on Life with my Master by Kate McGahan

Flowers Where There Were No Flowers

Have you ever been on a road or a path you have taken many times with your beloved best friend? After your friend has gone to Rainbow Bridge and you are working through your grief, we like to venture back and show you little surprises along the way. Some of you refuse to go back to those special places we shared because you are afraid of your tears and your grief, but we need you to go there. It's where we always went together and it's where we will always continue to go. Even though we are Gone From Your Sight. It's okay if you shed those tears. Tears must be shed to work through the grief. It's our only goal: to heal you, to comfort you, to help to make you happy again. It's all we want. We want you to believe in miracles! We have lots of opportunities to come to you because the rules are very different in the world of Heaven beyond Rainbow Bridge. Just like God created the world, POOF!, we are, each one of us, magicians in a world where scientific rules do not prevail.

Hi! That's Me Saying I Love You! What Cactus Flower Blooms in April??

If you've read my book "The Lizard from Rainbow Bridge", you know how signs and angels can show up in ordinary ways in your life. In our book, Lizard teaches you to recognize a sign when you see one. We can show up in extra-ordinary ways too!  Like shooting stars and funny metaphors. We especially like flowers because we know you like flowers and that you will notice them. Especially in places that are otherwise flower-less.

Kate and I made this path on the Wild Horse Mesa wilderness trail over the years of hiking there. There were never ever any wildflowers there. Just pine needles, juniper brush and red dirt. She eventually spread my ashes under the tiny juniper tree that you see in the photo. We had re-routed the trail to allow my friend the tree room to grow. The trail originally ran along the righthand side of the little tree... and it simply didn't have room to grow. Horses and travelers would graze by the tree each and every time so that it was becoming lopsided.

                     

So now she calls it Jack's Path. The first Spring after I made my passage to Rainbow Bridge, not only did purple four o'clocks pop up to the lefthand side of the path, but the daisies came up in the middle too. Here's the proof.

Jack's Path

By the way, my friend the tree is doing really well, growing balanced and strong now.
And so is Kate.

Love,
Kate

Your Book Has Healed Me In Ways Nothing Else Can

Hi Kate, 

My Sat. Morning has been consumed by "Jack McAfghan: Reflections on Life with my Master" and it is with red and swollen eyes I commend you on this lovely book about a lovely dog, love being the operative word throughout. With my Maggie's head on my lap, her big eyes begging me not to cry I would have to put it down as the pages and words blurred. You certainly struck a nerve in me as I am sure you will many others who have ever loved and had to make this choice. I would love to buy a copy for my daughter-in-law and son who have just said goodbye to their beloved Faith, I think it would help them in their journey to heal as well. I told my her it was a book about healing not dying to get her to read it she is grieving her big beautiful black lab. I am sure she will love it! Many Thanks! 

Karen Petit

Dear Karen, Thank you! I love what you say about the book being about healing, not about dying.  I would like to use that quote -- maybe quote you, in a Facebook or blog post sometime soon. Most people say "I'll read it, but I already know how it ends, " but they don't know what's in store. I'm sorry you cried so much over it, but there is a method to my madness because every tear you cry you are releasing something from your own past that needs healing. Thank you so much for writing.  xo   Kate

The One Thing That Keeps You Stuck in the Grief

Dear Jack: 

The hardest thing I'm dealing with right now is my guilt. I have lost people in my life, including my best human friend and my mother. Losing my Heart and Soul pet has hit me harder than anything and I miss him more than anyone ever and that is why I feel guilty. I've never admitted this to anyone other than a total stranger I happened to walk into at a doctors appt. who admitted the same thing after telling her about my best friend.

Sincerely,

Lost in Guilt

Dear Lost, 

You are no longer lost because the moment you realize what is holding you back, is the moment you can begin to move forward. It is part of the Acceptance process. 

During our years of working hospice we found that guilt is the #1 grief issue 90% of the time. Have you read my book yet because we address this in detail. That's one of the reasons we wrote my first book. Kate was riddled with guilt. She was stuck in the guilt of grief for six months or more. When you finally accept that guilt in unnecessary, you will emerge from the depths of the darkness, You find out that you are free and you realize that there is plenty of hope for healing and living a normal life again. A better than normal life for what we have taught you by our leaving. 

Guilt is all so unnecessary. Did you know that guilt doesn't even exist except in your own mind? But that might be too much for you to process right now. Please if you haven't already, get my book and let me comfort you on this topic. I will bring your best friend to you and release you both from the chains of guilt. In about 3-4 hours you can be in a totally different place. Please don't be afraid to go there. Your pet's world will open up when yours does. You are both connected and your grief impacts him. Now don't feel guilty about that too! It's a normal and human part of the process. 

Learn about it. Do it for you and do it for your best friend.

Our books are available on Amazon Worldwide. Click here to view my page on Amazon.com!

Love,

Jack