....But I Didn't Want Her to be Alone When She Died...

So many of you feel sad, bad, angry or guilty that you were not at your friend's side as they passed from this life to the Heaven at Rainbow Bridge.  There are many people who feel like they want or need to control certain circumstances in their lives; circumstances that are really beyond their control.  Then when their pet dies while they are at work or at play or asleep or in the next room, they blame themselves because they have the impression that they could have controlled the outcome If Only They Did This or If Only They Did That. There was NOTHING you could have done to change the outcome and it's not just about Fate or Destiny.  

Many people feel bad that they were not with their pet at the moment it passed, but this is often because the pet did not want its Beloved to witness the final moments which would be imprinted on the mind and take away from the joy of the memories shared. 

"Jack McAfghan" is available at Amazon.com Worldwide

Your pet knows what's going on. When we live a long life or if we are sick and have time to process, we have an element of control around the Where, the When and the How. Just like people do. It is not always the case when there is an accident or a sudden trauma. When something immediate and unexpected happens, it happens so fast that we end up at Rainbow Bridge and we hardly know what hit us. Some of us need to go through the learning and leave consciously.... and others hang suspended between the worlds.... sick or in pain for a long time. In this case we do not leave of our own accord because our earthly master has something to learn about Letting Go and about making important and compassionate decisions.

There are reasons for everything. It is all about learning.  It's about us learning and it's about you learning.  When we get to Heaven/Rainbow Bridge, we know everything there is to know. Every life we've ever lived. Everyone we've ever loved. There is much to know there, but there is not too much to learn there. That's why learn so many things when we are on earth with each other.  Life is the school, love is the lesson.  

Rainbow Bridge 

Heaven is the reward. 

The Anniversary of the Cover of our Book

She used to focus on the anniversary of my passing, the 1st of every month. This year on the 2nd of December (15 months after I crossed Rainbow Bridge), she realized that she had forgotten to notice the 1st of December. It had come and gone. She felt so guilty until she realized that it was really a good thing. It was a sign of her healing. Oh I was so happy!

One year ago today, she was still grieving bitterly. It had been six months. She walked our trail, lost in her tears. Today she is going back up on the trail to honor the day when she made peace with her grief. To honor the day that her love for me became stronger than her grief over me. 

In Honor of this Anniversary, we are sharing Chapter 86 of 

"Jack McAfghan: Reflections on Life with my Master" by Kate McGahan in it's entirety. 

It was my gift to Kate and it is now our gift to you. 

We are not religious and this is far from being a religious book, but over time things happen that urge us to realize that, beyond a doubt, there is something much bigger than ourselves that is spiritual 

that oversees the design of our life here on earth.  

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Jack McAfghan: Reflections on Life with my Master

Chapter 86

It was the first time she hiked the east part of the trail since we walked it together. She went up and up and up to the high places we used to go. She took a breather at the shady little halfway place where we used to stop to rest. She sat down on our big flat rock, looking at the view and picturing me there.

Do you see how you cry when you replay

The memories of my week of pain?

Emotional scars take longer to heal,

Shrapnel fragments cut and hurt!

They live on only in your mind.

Don’t think of those things any more.

That is not who I was.

That is not who I am.

Don’t think of me in pain, I’m not!

Pain and suffering just exist

When you have a body.

Pain is just your messenger,

Telling you it’s time for change.

I had to suffer for had I not,

You’d be clinging to me still,

Wanting me to stay with you.

It hurts when someone won’t let go.

Not only do we have to leave,

We must tear ourselves from one who clings.

Jack…is that you?

She heard me! Oh, She heard me! She spoke to me, her heart to mine!

It is! It is! Yes, it’s me! It’s me!

Oh Jack, she said, I’ve missed you so but I’ve learned I need to let you go. I thought I let you go that night. I didn’t realize I’ve been hanging on. I’m sorry, Jack. I just wanted to do the right thing.

You are. You do. You will. You always do the right thing. You always do the loving thing.

“Is it time for me to scatter your ashes?” she asked me out loud.

Yes, scatter the ashes. They are not who I am. They only represent my death. Don’t think of me as breathing my last breath. Don’t think of how our beautiful life changed overnight. Just think of the gift of our beautiful life.

“You’re so right. We had such a beautiful life.”

Don’t think of Jesus on the cross. This is not how he wants to be remembered either. Set him free from the cross in your mind so he also can rise from your dead. He is not dead! I am not dead! Set us free! By setting us free you set yourself free. Life goes far beyond what you can see or even imagine.

She was crying again, this time because she understood completely that it was time to close this chapter of her grief. She would no longer be death’s victim. She knew it was finally time; it was time to let me go.

Suddenly the sound of a great gust of wind approached her from behind. A big cloud of black birds, twenty or more, flew within inches of her head. The group vibration was strong. As she recovered from that, one final bird brought up the rear, skimming the space over her left shoulder. The experience gave her goose bumps much like the ones she sustained when the hummingbird moth visited her on the other trail that day.

Have you noticed that every time you cry something comes and interrupts your tears? That is me. I am unhappy to be the source of your grief. I want you to be happy when you think of me.

“How,” she asked, “how do I get over you?”

When you remain attached to me,

You keep the chain around my neck.

Please free me from your leash of love.

By doing so, you free yourself.

Remember how I was in life,

Always right beside you?

Always at your feet!

You did not have a leash on me.

There was no fence. I was not chained.

I stayed close by because I loved.

Don’t ever question where I’ve gone or

Where I am when you can’t see.

There’s nowhere else I am and

There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.

She took a deep breath. “I love you, Jack. I now know what I have to do.”

She resumed walking the trail towards home. The crowd of birds still gathered ahead in the orchard of trees at the curve of the trail. As she rounded the curve, a great view of the western sky opened up. Painted into the setting sun was a cross as straight as could be. It took her breath away. She pulled out her phone and took a picture of it and that picture became the cover of this book.

c. 2015 by Kate McGahan

Yes, Joey was on the trail that day.  He will tell his own story some day. 

CLICK HERE TO ORDER JACK'S BOOK IN IT'S ENTIRETY. 

I'll See You At Rainbow Bridge

Kate made a video the other night and when she learns something I learn something too. After all, we are always connected. So last night I made a video too!  You can view it here. It's just a few minutes long and it gives you a unique view of Rainbow Bridge.

 

Stewie -- Two Paws at Rainbow Bridge, Two Paws With You

Dear Jack, 

I miss my Stewie so much, but I know he's with me. It is just really hard. I yearn to feel him in my arms. His loss was tremendously heartbreaking and sudden. He was diagnosed with immune-mediated hemolytic anemia August 3, 2014 and passed on September 4, 2014. I tried everything I could to save him. He was in intensive care for a month. He was put on immunosuppressants, received 7 blood transfusions and was almost "well" until he had a rare blood clot in his intestines. He had to have 6 surgeries to repair it. The vets did everything, and again thought he'd survive, but his heart suddenly stopped one morning. He was revived, but never awoke and was put on a ventilator until I had to make the hardest decision ever to let him go to Rainbow Bridge. My dad and I were with him, but I feel so much grief and guilt. Did I not do enough? Or did I put him through too much? His vet bills were astronomical. Still, he's worth it. I just wish it was enough to have saved him. It kills me. Life is so different now. I miss him. He was my world. My new boys sure do help, but Stewie is the love of my life and my special boy.

Love, 

Kristi

Dear Kristi, 

First I must say this. You have done things with grace. I am very proud of how you are handling your grief and how you handled all the events that led up to Stewie's honorable crossing at Rainbow Bridge. You extended yourself for him at great financial, physical and emotional expense. 

The fact is that while you had hope for Stewie's survival, you did everything possible to make that happen. If anyone could have given him what he needed to survive, it was your love for him and your faith. The fact is -- and I hope you are ready to hear this -- the reason he revived but did not come around that final day was because he already had two paws at Rainbow Bridge. Two paws remained in his life with you. He knew you didn't want him to leave and yet he knew that you knew in your heart that he had to go. He needed to be free. He would not leave you on his own -- he made you come to that realization by yourself because he knew how a big decision like this forces you to grow and become more than you ever were before. He knew this would be the ultimate act of love and selflessness; to let him go when you wanted him to stay. When we have two paws at the edge of the Rainbow, it is much easier for us to move forward than to back up and go the other way. You did him a service and there is nothing at all to feel guilty about because you did this for him and not for you. 

As Kate will tell you, she did not find peace anywhere in her life until the six month mark. Not to say you will have to wait that long -- or that it will come that soon, but if you stay on the path you are on -- with the amazing attitude you have of being able to see the gifts in your life and the gifts that Stewie brought to you in this life, in his illness and in his departure -- you will come out of this better than you ever were before. 

Stewie runs free with the rest of us at Rainbow Bridge, although every now and again I see him pause at the gate. I know why. He keeps a lookout there for you. He will never forget you. He will always love you. He is right there beside you -- he can be in both places at once now and he very much enjoyed the turkey droppings beneath your table. He is right there beside you right now to help you dry your tears. 

Never stop believing in him. Stay with our group. Read my book as soon as you are able. 

Love, 

Jack

Dear Jack: I Was Told That Pets Don't Go To Heaven. Could This Be True?

Dear Jack, 

I'm so sorry to bother you during your holiday but I'm heart broken. I've just been told pets don't go to heaven because they are all liars and deceivers. Your book still hasn't arrived yet and I'm desperate for evidence that this isn't true. 

I Feel Like A Pest 

Dear You Are Not A Pest, 

You are the second person this morning to ask this question. There are many people who claim to be "religious" but who do not even seem to believe in Heaven. I once posted a post on a God-Oriented Facebook page and the Admin called me a liar and a sinner. I was awestruck. Taken aback. Me with my pure heart that comes from a deep love and reverence for God, my true Master.  They even told me that Heaven does not exist! In their bible it is called "paradise." For them, heaven means something else altogether.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion and there are reasons that those with strong opinions have them. Their lives taught them what they now believe. Maybe their parents raised them with certain beliefs that are now ingrained in them. Blessed are they who know their own minds, live from the love in their hearts and do not condemn anyone for their personal beliefs. Indeed, it is tragic when someone who is trying valiantly to heal the grief over the loss of a pet, is told "Pets don't go to Heaven." If someone believes this, fine, but they should not hurt someone else by impressing their opinion onto the one who suffers, thereby making them suffer even more. You have experienced this firsthand. Sometimes "religion" causes a great deal of separation between people who would love and honor and respect each other if only they were not labeled and judged and condemned for their innocent beliefs in the name of religion. 

I don't know what "bible" they are reading, but if they would read most versions they would know that Ecclesiastes talks about all animals and creatures going to heaven/afterlife, yes perhaps called paradise.  Even St. Francis of Assisi (a SAINT who is most well respected and honored) spent his whole life caring for the animals and helping them across the bridge when it was time to go.

You will read about all of this in my book. In the meantime, you must be vigilant about your response to someone who is expressing their opinions to you. Do not take their opinions to heart.  Make yourself so strong that you have your own healthy opinion and faith and let no one shake you from it. My book will help you with this too. If you have a bible handy, read some Ecclesiastes while you are waiting for me to come into you postal box.

“Heaven: God. A state of being eternally in the presence of God after death. A place, state, or experience of supreme bliss.”

Do Dogs Go To Heaven? Part II

Dear Jack, 

You have said that all dogs go to Heaven. You've also said that cats go to Heaven. Can you accept that all animals live in eternal Paradise? What about insects? Moths, butterflies, crickets, dreaded mosquitoes, ticks, fleas? Eeeeeeeek.

Love,

May

Dear May, 

Remember the bible says: "The eyes are the windows to the soul." If it has eyes, it has a soul. That's as clear as any answer could be. 

Most insects have their own form of heaven. If you look at their eyes (like flies and bees also) you cannot see into them. They are not windows. But they have life force and all creatures have an energy that does not die. 

Here at Rainbow Bridge we have a garden here where all the dragonflies and butterflies live. We can go there anytime. We love having them here and that's why we created a special place for them here at Rainbow Bridge. In Heaven, whatever we want we can have. All we need to do it think about it and it comes to us. If we want those other insects around, all we have to do is think about them and they are there if we want them. They exist in another plane, but they exist nonetheless, transformed.

Keep in mind you may think that insects are creepy but each and every being, especially the insects have a purpose for being on the earth. Every single one gives and receives from the ecosystem called "earth." We all have a role, on earth and in Heaven and this is why we can never die.  

I know it's hard to keep believing when people around you who claim to be experts tell you otherwise, but you must believe. The experts who don't believe are not capable of this level of faith and love. You are. 

Love,
Jack

Dear Jack, 
So they don't evolve, grow spiritually, come back in a different form or have karmic debt? They just ARE?  
May

Dear May, 

They just are. 

I found it quite amusing one night about nine months after I crossed Rainbow Bridge Kate was sitting in the living room on her computer and a mosquito was flying around her; buzzing and dive bombing her. She wanted to swat it and get rid of it and then she asked herself, "What if it is Jack?"  Then she rationalized it out and figured if I could come back as a mosquito that she could actually help me by swatting me and I could come back as something else. That's not really how it works, but her mind came up with that. This is why she needed me to write the book.  lol.

Love,

Jack

Please read our previous blogpost for more information on pets going to Heaven. 

Can a Pet Determine When It's Time to Cross the Bridge?

Dear Jack, 

I was told that animals are able to determine the way and time they will pass from this world into the next. Could this be true? 

Caroline

Dear Caroline,

Your pets know what's going on. They probably know even better than you do because they are very tuned in to Spirit, living in the moment and being hyper-alert to how they feel within themselves and the world around them.

When a pet lives a long life into older age or if a pet is sick and has time to process the illness and eventual outcome, no matter what the age, they have an element of control. They have control over the Where, the When and the How. Just like people do. It is not always the case when there is an accident or a sudden trauma. When trauma or sudden accident happens, there is a moment just prior to the impact when your pet leaves its body. So there is no pain at the end of life. Typically they never know what hit them and if they do, they have an "Aha" moment of realizing "This is it" and by the moment that thought finishes, they are already heading for Rainbow Bridge ....while the drama and human questions and suffering take place at the scene.  

Many people feel bad that they were not with their pet at the moment it passed, but this was because the pet did not want its Beloved to witness the final moments which would be imprinted on the memories of a chaotic mind and take away from the joy and pure love of the memories shared. In the case of narcotics and medication, pets are also a lot like people -- when they take a powerful medication, it reduces their awareness and their alertness. Like a person on morphine, they will simply slip into sleep and wake up at Rainbow Bridge. When they are medicated, the medicine often decides the when, the how and the where -- not the pet. We are not so different from people this way.  Also, like with people, there are exceptions.  If someone is in enough pain or discomfort, sometimes they would rather go to sleep. The comfort can be more important than the awareness in certain situations.  

If you read my book, you read about the process I went through when I became sick, when I declined, and when I crossed Rainbow Bridge. You read about how obedient I alway was, but at the end I did not want to take my medication. It wasn't just because it tasted awful (and it was awful!) but I did not want to be sedated. I wanted to be aware of my Beloved who was there by my side and I wanted to be fully present with her in my final hours and in my departure. Because I was present, I was able to write the book, with her good help, that explains all of this in detail. I was able to be fully present in my leaving her to cross the Bridge. Click here to see my book and read the reviews.  ("Jack McAfghan: Reflections on Life with my Master"- available on Amazon and most other booksellers worldwide).

There is also the question of Euthanasia. Why do people find themselves responsible for making the dreaded decision to help their pet to cross the Rainbow Bridge?  There is always a reason. Sometimes the person needs to learn how to make a decision.... or they have lessons to learn from making the decision and living with it.  Putting a pet to sleep can wreak havoc on a person's feelings of guilt, shame and self-blame.  Life on earth (for a human, not for a pet) has to do with learning the lessons needed to LET GO of the guilt and shame and blame of life. Guilt and Shame and Blame are things the human mind created to make themselves or others feel bad. Guilt and Shame and Blame are not real and they do not exist at Rainbow Bridge or in a mind that is full of only LOVE. They only exist in a mind that is filled with fear. Us animals don't understand this, but we accept that it is part of life for you and we do our best to teach you love and forgiveness in the time we have together with you.  

Growth from learning is always built into the act of making a difficult decision such as this. Life on earth is the School and True Love is the Lesson and everything you go through on earth is designed to teach you and bring you closer to being the fully loving person you are in your heart and in your soul. This means loving others, but loving yourself as well. Your mind is not always your friend. Your heart always knows the right answer. Your heart knows everything. This is why we animals know what we know. We pay more attention to our hearts than our heads. We always did. Fear lives in the human mind. Love lives in the human heart. Love is always more powerful than fear. We know this. This is why we live in the power of love. Love directs our course, not fear. Love is more powerful than anything else. Love is what lives on, long after we have crossed the Bridge. 

It takes time but if you ultimately learn to live in the moment, can be loving and forgiving of yourself -- the way we taught you to love unconditionally -- you will move forward, grow into a New You, a New Normal, and you will be stronger and more loving than ever.  This is what we are eagerly waiting for! We are watching and waiting -- and celebrating when we see that you have healed and have learned to live your life in love the way that we always did.

We are here at Rainbow Bridge. We love you and we are waiting for you to love yourself and embrace life again. You. You will determine the How and the When and the Where of your healing. You don't feel like you have control over it, but you do. Some day -- if you are fortunate to live to a ripe old age, you will see what I am talking about. You will see you have a part in the decision and an element of control in the dying process.  And when you decide it's your time to go, we'll be waiting for you here. After you've learned all the lessons you need to know to come here.  

Thank you for writing. I hope this helps.  

Love, 

Jack