You Can't Replace Me, You Don't Have To

Dear Kate, 

You can't replace me, but you can bring in a new kind of love. 

You've had her now for several months. 

You see her healing. 

You feel yourself healing too. 

It has taken this long for you to trust each other. 

She no longer runs from you. 
She now comes to you seeking love... 

Seeking the new level of love that I taught you to give. 

You are healed enough now, to give her everything and more. 

But I know. I know you still love me. 

I still see you cry when you don't think you have everything...

But you do. You have her. You have me. 

You do have everything.

Love, 

Jack

Fear is an Illusion that Cannot Exist When you Live in the Moment

via GIPHY

Excerpt from "Jack McAfghan: Reflections on Life with my Master" Chapter 31. 

She had a hard time accepting that we were very different from each other emotionally. While a dog has feelings to an extent, most of us don’t really worry about things like people do. We don’t fear anything emotional. We don’t fear the future. We live in the moment where there is no fear. We have nothing in the future to prepare for. We only experience fear when something physically threatens us or startles us. Once in a great while we can experience a form of fear when we pick up on the emotions of our loved ones and on some level we react to the fear that they feel.

It might seem like we have deep feelings because we look guilty or ashamed when we are caught getting into trouble. We don’t really feel guilty because deep down inside we know we are innocent. We live from love and we do the best that we can. When we seem guilty, we have just learned to give you the reaction we know you want from us. You want us to feel guilty? Okay, we can show you how guilty we are. As soon as we do, you stop yelling at us because you then believe that we understand our error (we usually don’t). You might then feel sorry for us because you “made” us feel guilty and then you cover us with your beautiful forgiveness. The game is totally worth it for us to get your love and your forgiveness.

Love, 

Jack

....But I Didn't Want Her to be Alone When She Died...

So many of you feel sad, bad, angry or guilty that you were not at your friend's side as they passed from this life to the Heaven at Rainbow Bridge.  There are many people who feel like they want or need to control certain circumstances in their lives; circumstances that are really beyond their control.  Then when their pet dies while they are at work or at play or asleep or in the next room, they blame themselves because they have the impression that they could have controlled the outcome If Only They Did This or If Only They Did That. There was NOTHING you could have done to change the outcome and it's not just about Fate or Destiny.  

Many people feel bad that they were not with their pet at the moment it passed, but this is often because the pet did not want its Beloved to witness the final moments which would be imprinted on the mind and take away from the joy of the memories shared. 

"Jack McAfghan" is available at Amazon.com Worldwide

Your pet knows what's going on. When we live a long life or if we are sick and have time to process, we have an element of control around the Where, the When and the How. Just like people do. It is not always the case when there is an accident or a sudden trauma. When something immediate and unexpected happens, it happens so fast that we end up at Rainbow Bridge and we hardly know what hit us. Some of us need to go through the learning and leave consciously.... and others hang suspended between the worlds.... sick or in pain for a long time. In this case we do not leave of our own accord because our earthly master has something to learn about Letting Go and about making important and compassionate decisions.

There are reasons for everything. It is all about learning.  It's about us learning and it's about you learning.  When we get to Heaven/Rainbow Bridge, we know everything there is to know. Every life we've ever lived. Everyone we've ever loved. There is much to know there, but there is not too much to learn there. That's why learn so many things when we are on earth with each other.  Life is the school, love is the lesson.  

Rainbow Bridge 

Heaven is the reward. 

The Anniversary of the Cover of our Book

She used to focus on the anniversary of my passing, the 1st of every month. This year on the 2nd of December (15 months after I crossed Rainbow Bridge), she realized that she had forgotten to notice the 1st of December. It had come and gone. She felt so guilty until she realized that it was really a good thing. It was a sign of her healing. Oh I was so happy!

One year ago today, she was still grieving bitterly. It had been six months. She walked our trail, lost in her tears. Today she is going back up on the trail to honor the day when she made peace with her grief. To honor the day that her love for me became stronger than her grief over me. 

In Honor of this Anniversary, we are sharing Chapter 86 of 

"Jack McAfghan: Reflections on Life with my Master" by Kate McGahan in it's entirety. 

It was my gift to Kate and it is now our gift to you. 

We are not religious and this is far from being a religious book, but over time things happen that urge us to realize that, beyond a doubt, there is something much bigger than ourselves that is spiritual 

that oversees the design of our life here on earth.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack McAfghan: Reflections on Life with my Master

Chapter 86

It was the first time she hiked the east part of the trail since we walked it together. She went up and up and up to the high places we used to go. She took a breather at the shady little halfway place where we used to stop to rest. She sat down on our big flat rock, looking at the view and picturing me there.

Do you see how you cry when you replay

The memories of my week of pain?

Emotional scars take longer to heal,

Shrapnel fragments cut and hurt!

They live on only in your mind.

Don’t think of those things any more.

That is not who I was.

That is not who I am.

Don’t think of me in pain, I’m not!

Pain and suffering just exist

When you have a body.

Pain is just your messenger,

Telling you it’s time for change.

I had to suffer for had I not,

You’d be clinging to me still,

Wanting me to stay with you.

It hurts when someone won’t let go.

Not only do we have to leave,

We must tear ourselves from one who clings.

Jack…is that you?

She heard me! Oh, She heard me! She spoke to me, her heart to mine!

It is! It is! Yes, it’s me! It’s me!

Oh Jack, she said, I’ve missed you so but I’ve learned I need to let you go. I thought I let you go that night. I didn’t realize I’ve been hanging on. I’m sorry, Jack. I just wanted to do the right thing.

You are. You do. You will. You always do the right thing. You always do the loving thing.

“Is it time for me to scatter your ashes?” she asked me out loud.

Yes, scatter the ashes. They are not who I am. They only represent my death. Don’t think of me as breathing my last breath. Don’t think of how our beautiful life changed overnight. Just think of the gift of our beautiful life.

“You’re so right. We had such a beautiful life.”

Don’t think of Jesus on the cross. This is not how he wants to be remembered either. Set him free from the cross in your mind so he also can rise from your dead. He is not dead! I am not dead! Set us free! By setting us free you set yourself free. Life goes far beyond what you can see or even imagine.

She was crying again, this time because she understood completely that it was time to close this chapter of her grief. She would no longer be death’s victim. She knew it was finally time; it was time to let me go.

Suddenly the sound of a great gust of wind approached her from behind. A big cloud of black birds, twenty or more, flew within inches of her head. The group vibration was strong. As she recovered from that, one final bird brought up the rear, skimming the space over her left shoulder. The experience gave her goose bumps much like the ones she sustained when the hummingbird moth visited her on the other trail that day.

Have you noticed that every time you cry something comes and interrupts your tears? That is me. I am unhappy to be the source of your grief. I want you to be happy when you think of me.

“How,” she asked, “how do I get over you?”

When you remain attached to me,

You keep the chain around my neck.

Please free me from your leash of love.

By doing so, you free yourself.

Remember how I was in life,

Always right beside you?

Always at your feet!

You did not have a leash on me.

There was no fence. I was not chained.

I stayed close by because I loved.

Don’t ever question where I’ve gone or

Where I am when you can’t see.

There’s nowhere else I am and

There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.

She took a deep breath. “I love you, Jack. I now know what I have to do.”

She resumed walking the trail towards home. The crowd of birds still gathered ahead in the orchard of trees at the curve of the trail. As she rounded the curve, a great view of the western sky opened up. Painted into the setting sun was a cross as straight as could be. It took her breath away. She pulled out her phone and took a picture of it and that picture became the cover of this book.

c. 2015 by Kate McGahan

Yes, Joey was on the trail that day.  He will tell his own story some day. 

CLICK HERE TO ORDER JACK'S BOOK IN IT'S ENTIRETY. 

I'll See You At Rainbow Bridge

Kate made a video the other night and when she learns something I learn something too. After all, we are always connected. So last night I made a video too!  You can view it here. It's just a few minutes long and it gives you a unique view of Rainbow Bridge.

 

Stewie -- Two Paws at Rainbow Bridge, Two Paws With You

Dear Jack, 

I miss my Stewie so much, but I know he's with me. It is just really hard. I yearn to feel him in my arms. His loss was tremendously heartbreaking and sudden. He was diagnosed with immune-mediated hemolytic anemia August 3, 2014 and passed on September 4, 2014. I tried everything I could to save him. He was in intensive care for a month. He was put on immunosuppressants, received 7 blood transfusions and was almost "well" until he had a rare blood clot in his intestines. He had to have 6 surgeries to repair it. The vets did everything, and again thought he'd survive, but his heart suddenly stopped one morning. He was revived, but never awoke and was put on a ventilator until I had to make the hardest decision ever to let him go to Rainbow Bridge. My dad and I were with him, but I feel so much grief and guilt. Did I not do enough? Or did I put him through too much? His vet bills were astronomical. Still, he's worth it. I just wish it was enough to have saved him. It kills me. Life is so different now. I miss him. He was my world. My new boys sure do help, but Stewie is the love of my life and my special boy.

Love, 

Kristi

Dear Kristi, 

First I must say this. You have done things with grace. I am very proud of how you are handling your grief and how you handled all the events that led up to Stewie's honorable crossing at Rainbow Bridge. You extended yourself for him at great financial, physical and emotional expense. 

The fact is that while you had hope for Stewie's survival, you did everything possible to make that happen. If anyone could have given him what he needed to survive, it was your love for him and your faith. The fact is -- and I hope you are ready to hear this -- the reason he revived but did not come around that final day was because he already had two paws at Rainbow Bridge. Two paws remained in his life with you. He knew you didn't want him to leave and yet he knew that you knew in your heart that he had to go. He needed to be free. He would not leave you on his own -- he made you come to that realization by yourself because he knew how a big decision like this forces you to grow and become more than you ever were before. He knew this would be the ultimate act of love and selflessness; to let him go when you wanted him to stay. When we have two paws at the edge of the Rainbow, it is much easier for us to move forward than to back up and go the other way. You did him a service and there is nothing at all to feel guilty about because you did this for him and not for you. 

As Kate will tell you, she did not find peace anywhere in her life until the six month mark. Not to say you will have to wait that long -- or that it will come that soon, but if you stay on the path you are on -- with the amazing attitude you have of being able to see the gifts in your life and the gifts that Stewie brought to you in this life, in his illness and in his departure -- you will come out of this better than you ever were before. 

Stewie runs free with the rest of us at Rainbow Bridge, although every now and again I see him pause at the gate. I know why. He keeps a lookout there for you. He will never forget you. He will always love you. He is right there beside you -- he can be in both places at once now and he very much enjoyed the turkey droppings beneath your table. He is right there beside you right now to help you dry your tears. 

Never stop believing in him. Stay with our group. Read my book as soon as you are able. 

Love, 

Jack

Dear Jack: I Was Told That Pets Don't Go To Heaven. Could This Be True?

Dear Jack, 

I'm so sorry to bother you during your holiday but I'm heart broken. I've just been told pets don't go to heaven because they are all liars and deceivers. Your book still hasn't arrived yet and I'm desperate for evidence that this isn't true. 

I Feel Like A Pest 

Dear You Are Not A Pest, 

You are the second person this morning to ask this question. There are many people who claim to be "religious" but who do not even seem to believe in Heaven. I once posted a post on a God-Oriented Facebook page and the Admin called me a liar and a sinner. I was awestruck. Taken aback. Me with my pure heart that comes from a deep love and reverence for God, my true Master.  They even told me that Heaven does not exist! In their bible it is called "paradise." For them, heaven means something else altogether.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion and there are reasons that those with strong opinions have them. Their lives taught them what they now believe. Maybe their parents raised them with certain beliefs that are now ingrained in them. Blessed are they who know their own minds, live from the love in their hearts and do not condemn anyone for their personal beliefs. Indeed, it is tragic when someone who is trying valiantly to heal the grief over the loss of a pet, is told "Pets don't go to Heaven." If someone believes this, fine, but they should not hurt someone else by impressing their opinion onto the one who suffers, thereby making them suffer even more. You have experienced this firsthand. Sometimes "religion" causes a great deal of separation between people who would love and honor and respect each other if only they were not labeled and judged and condemned for their innocent beliefs in the name of religion. 

I don't know what "bible" they are reading, but if they would read most versions they would know that Ecclesiastes talks about all animals and creatures going to heaven/afterlife, yes perhaps called paradise.  Even St. Francis of Assisi (a SAINT who is most well respected and honored) spent his whole life caring for the animals and helping them across the bridge when it was time to go.

You will read about all of this in my book. In the meantime, you must be vigilant about your response to someone who is expressing their opinions to you. Do not take their opinions to heart.  Make yourself so strong that you have your own healthy opinion and faith and let no one shake you from it. My book will help you with this too. If you have a bible handy, read some Ecclesiastes while you are waiting for me to come into you postal box.

“Heaven: God. A state of being eternally in the presence of God after death. A place, state, or experience of supreme bliss.”