When Your Senior Pet Stops Eating...

When a human being stops eating due to illness and decline towards the end of life, it usually indicates they are ready to give up the fight. When one is frail, disabled and infirmed, the only control one has is to clench their teeth and refuse the food. So many people who don't understand this. They force feed or think that the patient is being uncooperative or unreasonable. The patient is just communicating in the only way they know how. They are saying Enough Is Enough. 

Sometimes we just need to be diagnosed to find out if there is something physically wrong, but typically if we are older or if we have already struggled with various issues, us animals often do the same thing. This is one of the clues for you, of knowing when the time is coming to help us on our way.

DNA: Does It Really Matter What Breed Your Dog Is?

Does it really matter what I was?  She always said it didn't. I was advertised as a Collie-Poo and that's what she came to accept. If it was any different than that, she said it didn't matter. She loved me no matter What I was. She loved me.

They said my Mom was a Bearded Collie.

They said my Dad was a Standard Poodle.

Some people would argue with her. "No," they'd say, "I can tell he has Afghan Hound in him from the curl in his tail... the length of his hair."  

"It doesn't matter," she would reply, 

"Whatever he is, I love him." 

But it did matter. 

One day she took me into the vet when I was about 5 years old. I had a small tumor growing on my eyelid that was bothering me. They scheduled surgery with general anesthesia to remove it.  

"Come back for him at 1 p.m," they said. 

At noon they called. 

"We've had a delay. Come back for him at 5 p.m." 

Eagerly she went to pick me up at 5. They had to tell her what happened. 

"He must have sighthound in him," they said. 

"He is definitely Afghan Hound."

Sighthounds are a certain group of dogs who have keen eyesight because of the way their eyes and noses are formed. In a puppy, the sense of smell develops first, but in a sighthound pup, the sense of sight comes first. The nose is long and thin and allows for greater peripheral vision for hunting and targeting. This is one of the things that makes sighthounds unique. They also have lean forms and can ran faster and longer than most other breeds. 

Here are some examples of sighthounds:

Borzoi

Greyhound

Saluki

Whippet

Afghan Hound

Sighthounds metabolize medication/anesthesia differently than other breeds. This is in part due to a lower percentage of body fat. Sighthounds also have a unique liver function and cannot process drug substances as quickly as other breeds. It takes them longer to recover and it is part of good veterinary care to manage this. 

I had a very bad reaction to the level of drugs they gave me. What started out as a routine surgery turned into an emergency. They almost lost me! But they didn't. They saved me and they documented in my permanent record that I am Afghan Hound; sighthound.  

For $60 you can order up a DNA testing kit. It may not matter to you what your dog is or how it came to be bred genetically through the years. As more and more people are adopting pets with unknown histories, it is not a bad idea to check it out. The more you know about breed-specific issues, the more you will be ready to handle them if and when they arise.  

Me - Afghan Hound - Collie Poo

Click HERE for a good article on the topic of Veterinary Care and the Sighthound

The One Thing We Can Control at the End of Life

When a human being stops eating due to illness and decline at the end of life, it can often indicate that they are ready to give up the fight. When one is helpless, frail, disabled and infirmed, they must rely on someone else to meet their basic needs. Sometimes the only control one has at this point is to clench the teeth and refuse to eat. 

So many people who are caregivers don't understand this. They force feed or think that the patient is being uncooperative or unreasonable. It is not true in every case, but often the patient is communicating in the only way they know how. Refusing food is the only choice they have. They are saying "Enough Is Enough". 

Us animals often do the same thing. This is one of the clues for you, of knowing when the time is coming to help us on our way. 

Do Like Dr. Doolittle -- You Must Talk to the Animals

Dear Jack, 
My beloved Barney crossed the Rainbow Bridge a few nights ago. My sister says that I should "tell" my other two cats, but this seems a little weird to me. My sister's always been a little "out there" so I thought I would ask you what I should do.
Thank you Jack.
Belinda

Dear Belinda,
ABSOLUTELY you must tell them. You must share everything that is going on. They live with you, they lived with Barney, they loved him too. They know what life is all about and they remember Where They Came From and Where They Are Going.  Humans may forget this, but this is no surprise to them.  Do not withhold information from them that will help them grow too. 

Have you learned from reading my book how alert and aware the four-leggeds are? Sometimes they are more alert than humans are. Sometimes they even care more than humans do. They want to know. They need to know. They sense clearly that something is going on and they will be very confused if you don't tell them what it is. They feel your emotions and your vibrational energy and they can become quite distressed if you do not help them to understand what's going on.  

Once you do tell them, they will need your care, comfort and compassion, so treat them gently and with understanding because they are grieving too. Their lives move much more quickly than yours do in the scheme of things, so you can go into it knowing that they will probably work through their grief rather quickly. Typically they will be resolving their grief by the time you get into the thick of yours. Then they will be there to help you with yours... because they understand.

This was a great question.  Thank you for asking it so I can share with others because some of them probably have the same question too.  

Love,
Jack

Dear Jack: I Didn't Get To Say Goodbye

Dear Jack, 
I still miss my beautiful, loving little girl who I lost a year ago. I came home from work one day and she had passed away in the new dog bed that I just bought for her. That was one of the worst days of my life, she was 14 and a half and had not been sick, but she must have been suffering from something. I horribly regret that I wasn't with her when her time came; that breaks my heart to this day. I feel she's with me all of the time, she is all over my apartment, her pictures, her favorite spots, her bed. This loss has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to accept. I just wish I could see her sweet little face and hold her precious body once again. I feel so terrible that I didn't get to say goodbye. 
Please advise. 
Love, 
Amanda 

Dearest Amanda, 

I would like you to understand that your beloved girl passed in your absence because she did not want you to see her in her final moments. If it had been meant to be another way, it would have unfolded another way. It happened just the way it was supposed to happen. 

We have a friend named Patty who had a beloved cocker spaniel. It was quite old and it was declining rapidly. Patty took the whole week off from her work to be with her Buddy. She rarely left his side the whole week. Then, at about 10:30 one night, she stepped away from him just long enough to go the bathroom. When she came back, she found him. He had passed in the few moments when she had left his side. I believe he was waiting for her to leave so he could leave the way he wanted to. We get very sensitive to our best friends and we know that we don't want those last moments imprinted in your mind. We don't want you to see us until the peace has come to our face... and that peace comes very quickly. 

So often human beings try to maneuver and manipulate everything to control an outcome, but eventually most of them learn that no matter how focused and determined they are, they cannot control much of anything at all. They are not supposed to control things because God is in control. Sometimes God steps into situations like this to prove it to the human.... but the human can be a slow learner and most of them keep trying to control stuff anyway because they think they can.

Kate has worked Hospice long enough to know that people do the same thing. There they are, in their final earthly hours, and their family surrounds them in a 24 hour vigil. The moment the family member leaves the room, the person has the space to breathe their last breath in private peace. Not all of them -- but many do this. 

So rest assured, your girl did things on her own terms to the last second. Please don't worry for another moment! Don't you see she did not want to say goodbye. Why would she? She knows it's not goodbye! 

She is also very grateful that you can see her, feel her, sense her there. Everyone is capable of seeing us, but not everyone is able to do it. Please know that All is Well.

Love,
Jack

For more insights from Jack, click here to order his book on Amazon.

Guilt and Shame: Stuck in the Muck

So many of you feel so guilty for "letting us down". You did not let us down.  

Kate was working with a client who was being admitted to a nursing facility. The day the family brought in their elderly mother for care was a hectic one. The woman was not safe at home and the family made the decision to have the staff at a nursing home watch her 24/7.  They thought they were doing the right thing -- and from a planning perspective, they were!  

Everyone was gathered around the nursing station, shaking and hands and making introductions. The woman was sitting in the group in a wheelchair while all this was happening. As the family was giving the nurse specific admission information, CRASH!  Down went the lady onto the tile floor! Rushed immediately to the hospital, she had broken her hip.  Even in a facility designed for prevention, accidents can happen.  It took one split second.

Look at how much guilt can occur in this situation.  Kate - for making the recommendation for a plan of "prevention".  The family for "abandoning"(this is a whole other post some day) their loved one. The staff for "allowing" it to happen. Perhaps with all this cycle of guilt the lady herself might have felt guilty for falling and creating all this guilt!  What we do, TO OURSELVES.

We can find reasons to feel guilty everywhere but it doesn't help anything. Things will be what they will be and the only thing we can do is manage our attitude and our response to what happens to us. If you continue to feel guilt and shame, it will create a wall between you and the one you love. Your guilt will leech out and taint the way you see yourself and everything around you. 

Guilt is not real, it is an illusion and it lives only in your own mind. If we meet someone else who embraces guilt too, then the game begins... you only weaken each other, trying to place the blame for your pain on someone else. It actually works for a little while! You can even play the Guilt Game with yourself.  The innocent pure part of you points the finger at the part of you that you judge to be BAD, guilty, wrong, selfish. It may sound strange, but you can actually create a "relationship" with another part of yourself. Then you focus on that instead of on the pure part of YOU. 

It is defense mechanism, guilt. It feels easier to be angry and point the blame than to feel the incredible undiluted sadness of loss. It may feel easier to point a finger, but it keeps you in Denial and delays your healing. As long as you are looking at someone else, you are not looking at yourself. If you are not looking at yourself, you cannot heal your pain.  

We can be destroyed by guilt and shame, but we are all healed by LOVE. Once you center yourself and see things more clearly, you can finally begin to heal. Instead of looking at Who's to Blame, focus on the love and focus on the fact that you did the very best you could under the circumstances.