Grief is a very personal thing, but it has a fairly predictable course. First she had to go through the Denial phase. She was in shock, much like someone who has been involved in a serious accident or trauma who keeps saying, ‘this can’t be happening. This can’t be happening to me’. It’s part of grief.
When someone experiences a great trauma, they go into shock as a survival tactic. Everything goes numb. The person is overwhelmed and the details of life seem meaningless. The mind when it is in this state is not capable of learning, understanding, grasping. The emotions remain submerged, hidden away until the person is ready to start feeling them again. It is the body’s way of healing itself, by protecting the one grieving from the full awareness of the hurt, the pain, the suffering, the change and the devastating loss.
Typically the person goes into hibernation – living life on a type of autopilot until enough healing has taken place to resume somewhat normal functioning… Often this time is filled with restlessness; perhaps even insomnia.
Healing cannot take place without deep sleep, for the greatest healing takes place when we shut our awareness down and let our natural innate healing abilities take over. Dreams are an important part of sleep and only in our deepest sleep can the dreams come. Dreams are the meeting places of the soul and it’s where we meet with you to work through things. You don’t actually need to remember the dream for it to help you. Some of you are still waiting for the dream that will change your life. Ask for it, you might get it. Be sure, also, to ask to remember it too, for it is quite possible to have a dream one night and not be able to remember it the next morning. Keep in mind that your subconscious mind is processing and learning even when your conscious mind is asleep. As Kate taught me, I now teach her. Don’t beg! You need to relax about it to have the space to let it in. Just have faith and I will come to you in a way that means something to you and me. Don’t forget to breathe.