Guilt. Shame. Loss. Bereavement. Loneliness. Depression.
When you start feeling sick enough long enough about it, you will change. Loss of someone we love will make us take a good hard look at our behavior. Everything in life is preparing us for our future life Over the Rainbow too. Guilt does not exist there and none of our pets are hung up on it (or anything else for that matter), so it's about growing and learning to live our lives in love. We've been focused for so long on someone else, and it takes us awhile to learn that It's about learning to love and accept OURSELVES too.
If you have been struggling for awhile and cannot see the way out of the dark, contact someone to help you. Surround yourself with positive people. Seek help from a counselor, therapist, minister or community agency. Most communities have a hospice program and most hospice programs offer free bereavement support to people in the community. Don't be afraid to reach out and get the help you need.