Dear Jack: The Unknowns and the Final Hours

Dear Jack,

My little girl died unexpectedly. We still don't know what happened. We came home to find her lifeless body, still warm. We had a funeral for her and decided to cremate her. Here's a photo of her body on the altar and then her ashes in the urn (photos not shown because we don't want to focus on that. She would not want us to). It's been very hard and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her and feel that heaviness in my heart... It's been three months and it just doesn't get easier. I still miss her terribly. I look at her photos and think why? My baby. 

Samantha

Dear Samantha, 

It's always hard not to know what happened. It makes us feel really bad when they have passed alone, even though there was no way you could have known. Please don't keep focusing on her final hours. She wants you to remember the good times, there were so many! When you dwell on her death it keeps you stuck and you cannot heal. If you dwell on something, dwell on the life! Dwell on the love. LOVE is what heals you. She is full of love for you still and she is doing very well over the Rainbow. Prayers for your healing. Don't forget: try to focus on the Love. If you focus on the love, it will get easier, I promise, because that is where the power is for both of you. 

Love, Jack 

You Are Only Gone From My Sight

"LIFE IS JUST A DREAM. IT ISN'T REAL. I KNOW THAT YOU CAN'T SEE THAT YET. YOU WANT ME TO WAKE UP BUT IN MY DEATH I DID WAKE UP AND I SAW YOU WERE STILL SLEEPING."  

From Jack McAfghan: Reflections on Life with my Master 

Dear Jack: How Do I Know When to Put My Pet to Sleep?

"Tomorrow I'm sending my dog to rainbow bridge. I'm so hurt, confused and guilty. Yesterday morning he could hardly walk. His arthritis is bad. Been on pain killers for years. He also has prostate cancer and a tumor on his adrenal gland...They gave him morphine at the vets. What a heart breaking evening and night. He cried so much. Confused from the morphine. But today he is great. Walking playing eating. He hasn't been this way in days. I know it's because he's not in pain but it'll wear off. Is it worth giving him more morphine and putting him through nights like last night again just to keep him around? I don't know what to do.... He's up every hour crying to go out to pee, difficulty pooing... Oh God I guess I'm looking for someone to say it's time that I'm doing the right thing. This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life." 


Dear One: First of all, you can FEEL guilty, but YOU ARE NOT GUILTY. He has struggled for a very long time and weighing his quality of life with his pain and his condition is imperative. Do not hold him to you with your love because the love won't die when he does. You need to look at everything else that is going on. How would you feel if you were him?  

It is such a hard decision but the loving thing to do is let him go. Our Grady suffered for several years with chronic pain and was deaf and blind. We made the appointment to put her to sleep on a Monday, and Sunday night and Monday morning she was better than she had been in many months. We thought of it as a final gift for all of us. Later when it was over, we wished we had done it sooner for her. She was so at peace. You will see and you will know then that you did the right thing. Wishing you strength between here and there. <3 

Love, Jack

Why Can't I Dream of You???

Dear Jack,
I've lost so many dogs that I've loved with all my heart, but I never dream about them and I'd really like to.  
Jenny

Dear Jenny,
Might you be trying too hard?  Be still and ask them to come to you in whatever ways they know best. They may have other doorways. Stay alert to the signs around you and try not to cry because it's hard for them to reach you through your tears.  
Love, Jack

We Cannot Be Separated

"...Like the cat who finds her way back home over a thousand miles, like the dog who waits for his master to arrive on the train that never comes, like the one who keeps a vigil at her master’s grave until she too can cross the bridge, some people and their pets are woven together by threads of life and they cannot, and will not, for long be separated." 

~"Jack McAfghan: Reflections on Life with my Master" Chapter 48

The Cure for Separation Anxiety is to be Together Again

We feel as bad about leaving you as you felt about leaving us. When you are this upset, it's kind of easy to forget 

that we'll be together again. 

But we will. I promise.

Dear Jack... Heavenly Palaces and the Power of the Horse

Kate also had a dream where my friend the horse brought her to me.  Horse is a symbol of power, strength, freedom, compassion.  When you dream about horse after your loved one has crossed the Rainbow Bridge, it is indicative that you are healing, getting stronger, willing to allow the forces at work in the universe to guide you and carry you.