Does it Really Matter What Breed My Dog is?

 Dear Jack, 

Does it really matter what breed my dog is? Isn’t every dog, cat, pet just love? Isn’t that all that really matters? Isn’t that what you tell us? Not to label, that love is all that matters? 

 

Does it really matter what I was?  She always said it didn't. I was advertised as a Collie-Poo and that's what she came to accept. If it was any different than that, she said it didn't matter. She loved me no matter what I was. She loved me.

They said my mother was a Bearded Collie. They said my father was a Standard Poodle. Some people would argue with her. "No," they'd say, "I can tell he has Afghan Hound in him from the curl in his tail... the length of his hair."  

"It doesn't matter," she would reply, "Whatever he is, I love him." 

But it turns out that it did matter. Genetic inheritance cannot be denied in humans or in pets. One day she took me to the vet when I was about five years old. I had a small tumor growing on my eyelid that was bothering me. They scheduled surgery with general anesthesia to remove it.  

"Come back for him at 1 p.m," they said. 

At noon they called. "We've had a delay. Come back for him at 5 p.m." 

Eagerly she went to pick me up at 5. They had to tell her what happened. 

"He must have sighthound in him," they said. "He is definitely an Afghan Hound." 

Sighthounds are a certain group of dogs who have keen eyesight because of the way their eyes and noses are formed. In a puppy, the sense of smell develops first, but in a sighthound pup, the sense of sight comes first. The nose is long and thin and allows for a greater peripheral vision for hunting and targeting. This is one of the things that makes sighthounds unique. They also have lean forms and can run faster and longer than most other breeds.

Sighthounds metabolize medication differently than other breeds. This is in part due to a lower percentage of body fat. Sighthounds also have a unique liver function and cannot process drug substances as quickly as other breeds. It takes them longer to recover and it is part of good veterinary care to manage this. 

I had a very bad reaction to the level of drugs they gave me. What started out as a routine surgery turned into an emergency. They almost lost me! But they didn't. They saved me and they documented in my permanent record that I am Afghan Hound; sighthound.  

For under $100 you can order a Pet DNA testing kit. It may not matter to you what your dog is or how it came to be bred genetically through the years. As more and more people are adopting pets with unknown histories, it is not a bad idea to check it out. The more you know about breed-specific issues, the more empowered you are, the more you will be ready to handle them if and when they arise. 

                                                                                                Love, Jack

                          

How Do I Know When to Put my Pet to Sleep?

  Dear Jack, 

Tomorrow I'm sending my dog to Rainbow Bridge. I'm so hurt, confused, and guilty. Yesterday morning he could hardly walk. His arthritis is bad. Been on painkillers for years. He also has prostate cancer and a tumor on his adrenal gland...They gave him morphine at the vets. What a heartbreaking evening and night. He cried so much. Confused from the morphine. But today he is great. Walking playing eating. He hasn't been this way in days. I know it's because he's not in pain but it'll wear off. Is it worth giving him more morphine and putting him through nights like last night again just to keep him around? I don't know what to do....He's up every hour crying to go out to pee, difficulty pooing... Oh God, I guess I'm looking for someone to say it's time that I'm doing the right thing. This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life." 

 

Dear One: 

First of all, you can FEEL guilty, but YOU ARE NOT GUILTY. (Guilt is something the human mind created. Heaven does not know of such things). He has struggled for a very long time and weighing his quality of life with his pain and his condition is imperative. Do not hold him to you with your love because the love won't die when he does. You need to look at everything else that is going on. How would you feel if you were him?  

 

It is such a hard decision but the loving thing to do is let him go. Our Grady suffered for several years with chronic pain and was deaf and blind. We made the appointment to put her to sleep on a Monday. Sunday night and Monday morning she was better than she had been in many months. We thought of it as a final gift for all of us. Later when it was over, we wished we had done it sooner for her. She was so at peace. You will see and you will know then that you did the right thing. 

Remember, "It's Not Putting Me Down, It's Lifting Me Up". (Get your FREE copy of our little book here:  https://BookHip.com/DCSAKN ) Wishing you strength between here and there. <3 

 

Love, Jack

…How many of us have watched someone we love suffer for too long? They have spent weeks, months, years, declining and then, right after we make the decision to let them go, they surprise us by having a really good day? It can knock us for a loop.   

 

One night Grady pee-ed all over our bed.  Our bed was also our "den," and any dog knows you don't dirty your den. This is how sick she was, to not be able to honor that. She was 14.  She had been incontinent (and arthritic and going blind and deaf over the years). Kate said to her that night, "I can't keep doing this." Kate was so tired from cleaning up after her and carrying her everywhere. Nonetheless, she did it for another two years.  It was all because she was waiting for God to call for Grady because she didn't want to have to make The Decision. 

 

She ultimately contacted the vet and scheduled euthanization for Monday. Sunday night we all slept on the floor with Grady instead of bringing her up onto our bed like we always did. It was the first time in many nights that she didn't get up every hour. She slept the whole night through! She got up in the morning, went outside with me with a wag in her tail! She gave a playful little awkward jump when I teased her... and she ate all of her breakfast! We couldn't believe it. Our hearts were full. 

 

It would be easy to second-guess whether we were doing the right thing, to move forward with the plans for the day. Maybe if we just slept on the floor with her every night she'd sleep through the night.... maybe this, maybe that, maybe, maybe, maybe...

 

Fortunately, our experience working with people on hospice reassured Kate. We had seen it over and over again in our therapy work. Many times people linger on their deathbeds; their breath is slowing, their feet are turning blue... and then all of a sudden one day, they rally back! Where they were confused they are now lucid. Those who were lethargic are miraculously alert and clear for the first time in a long time. They give us the impression that they are not dying after all! Oh everyone is so excited! They are clearly turning a corner and they will be well again! Our prayers have indeed been answered! 

 

Then, in 12 or 24 or more hours, they pass peacefully. It is not this way for everyone, but this has happened often in Kate's thirty years of experience. It matters not the age or the condition or the setting. I think perhaps it is one final chance for the body to have its Swan Song. When we know we can never do something again that we've always done, we always want to do it one more time. Sometimes that's what the final day is for. It gives us a chance to have one more time around before we transform into something else.   

https://BookHip.com/DCSAKN 

Letters from Rainbow Bridge Holiday Tips: You're Going to Get Through This

 

Dear Jack,

As the holidays draw near, I find myself terrified of listening to old songs or following normal traditions like putting up the tree and buying presents. I seem OK to my family and friends because I pretend that I’m OK. I want to do these things, but at the same time, I’m terrified of all they will remind me of. My baby was always the happiest when we did these things. We now have a new furry angel in our lives but I still miss him so much. How do I get through the holidays without breaking down into a million pieces?

Dear One, 

I normally suggest that you Stay in Your Truth most of the time. However, if you have to pretend a bit to get through the upcoming holidays, you have to pretend. It can actually help to “Fake It ‘Till You Make It”. Going through the motions is far better for healing than not facing the reality of it at all.

Sometimes having something subtle, perhaps a comfort stone or a piece of jewelry, a crystal, a tattoo, something tangible helps to defer the anxiety and nervous energy. It’s okay to talk about your grief too, but not too much to those who simply don’t understand. It can also be quite handy to excuse oneself and go to bed early. That’s okay to a point. Balance is the key. Balance the holiday and balance yourself as you move forward to the next anniversary without your friend. Balance is a key to all healing. Time and faith will take care of the rest.

Creating new traditions is also a very good way to move forward and to honor us at the same time. Just try to keep it positive. Keep moving forward. Find some kind of joy in the season, even if you have to put a gift under the tree to you from your fur angel.

Love, Jack

From our latest book "Letters from Rainbow Bridge" which you can find here. 

Click here to read the first few chapters for free.

The Blind Will See Again...

 Dear Jack, 

We got our girl at three weeks old. She lived to be 13. She went everywhere with us. She went blind and I was her sole caregiver. She got cancer; we went to the vet every other month. It all caught up with her and she ended up crossing over at the Emergency Vet because she was hurting. While driving to the Emergency, she looked at each of us in the car as if she was no longer blind. It was weird. She took several minutes to stare at us. Could she see? Did she see us?

 

Dear One, 

Your girl was letting you know that she was preparing for her leaving. She was already on the way to being restored to perfection. The closer we get to leaving this cumbersome earthly body the more able we are to show you who we really are. The immortal healthy beautiful shining spirit that is seen through the eyes. As they say, "The Eyes are the Windows of the Soul" and it is no mistake that you saw this clearly in her eyes. She was and is in communication with you all the time. She knows what a beautiful life she has had with you. 

Life is always teaching us through change and loss. When we’ve grown from it, when we have faith and when we learn to convert fear to love, we know we have learned the lesson that loss came to teach us. 

You may find this hard to believe, but our story does not end. Life does not end. The end of this life is not the end of life at all. It is impossible to describe how beautiful this is, this experience of death and dying. If I could hold a pen to write the words, and if there were words in existence that were beautiful enough to describe this place called Heaven, I would strive to find the words so that you would never be afraid of it again.

                                                                                               Love, Jack 🐾

Gone Only From View: A Love Poem

 Do you think that I am far from you?

 I feel your thoughts, I know your heart.

I am not far away at all. I'm closer than you would believe! 

You think if you stop grieving that you will somehow lose me.

You're afraid that if you love again,

That you will grow away from me.

You can never lose me!

Your soul has grown right into mine.

Spun together; 

A tapestry of our life and love. 

You cannot lose what has become

A vital part of you. 

Someday you'll see that I was with you all along the way.

You'll then regret the time you spent

Wasting many thoughtful tears

And grieving for so many years!

But while you cannot see that now,

You'll find out what you think you lost

You never lost at all.

I am merely gone from view. 

I am here;

I'm here beside you

Waiting for the Chosen Time

When you will see and touch and feel me

As I run into your arms again. 

by Jack McAfghan and Kate

About Our Books

No one would ever believe that a dog can heal someone's grief and even bring someone back into having faith in God again after pet loss, but Jack can. The books in the Jack McAfghan Trilogy are not "How To" books. They are true stories based on real events. Each book tells a different story with pearls of wisdom and morals in each chapter. Chapters are short and typefonts are large to allow the reader to process the lessons in each chapter.  

Book 1, "Reflections: A Dog's Memoir on Life and the Afterlife" makes it easy to heal your grief. Read along with Jack and Kate -- take a little walk together through the grief process -- and you will find that as Kate heals you will heal too. It's that simple. 

Book 2, "The Lizard from Rainbow Bridge" teaches you how to recognize signs and angels when they make themselves known in your life -- and also teaches the power and importance of love and forgiveness.

Book 3, "Return from Rainbow Bridge" revisits a bit of the grief and then opens your mind to the possibilities that exist on both sides of the Rainbow Bridge which connects those on earth with the ones they love on the Other Side, in Heaven. Each one of Jack's books has a happy ending.   

If you prefer a non-fiction Guide to Healing Pet Loss, Book 4 "Only Gone From Your Sight" will walk you through all the stages of grief and bring you out the other side of it. It is written as a love letter from your best friend to you about all facets of grief, loss and living again.  

Each book is carefully crafted to heal your heart, open your mind and teach you new ways of looking at life, love and loss.  Life is the school love is the lesson and Jack and Kate are your teachers in this Class of Love and learning to live with loss.  

All books are available on Amazon Worldwide in paperback, Kindle and always free on Kindle Unlimited. Printed copies are available through your favorite bookseller. Book 1, "Reflections" is also available in LARGE PRINT. We don't want anyone to miss out on the healing power of Jack!

Join Jack on a journey to Rainbow Bridge and back again. Heal your heart, learn to recognize the signs and strengthen your faith beyond anything you knew was possible.  Our story is your story too.  

How Do I Know When To Get Another Pet?

  How do you know when a new pet is right for you? Have you found one and are now agonizing over the decision? Agonizing over it probably means the time isn't right, or the pet isn't the right one. 

Remember that everything feels right when a new pet is right for you. You will be put in the right place at the right time. The process is smooth and easy. Sometimes the pet will come to you without your having to do anything.  You usually feel it in your heart when its right. The price is always right because you want that pet and you will pay the price. 

Read Chapter 4 in my book. Kate went through the same dilemma. There is nothing worse than regretting this kind of decision. Of course you will have the normal What If's and perhaps some fear of commitment but there will be an underlying confidence that this is the pet for you. 

Try not to be too stressed about it. There are many many pets available out there and there will always be another opportunity. The timing will always be right. Let your heart and soul lead you to the one that's meant for you. Let your heart lead the way...not your head... or what someone else thinks.

Thank you for wanting to love again. We love you the way we do so that you will miss the love when we are gone (from your sight) and so that you will seek it again. After all, love is what makes everything else worthwhile. 

Jack McAfghan: Reflections on Life with my Master can be found on Amazon Worldwide.